


nomenclature

by kosy



Category: Blaseball (Video Game)
Genre: Banter, F/F, Fluff, Relationship Discussions, Screenplay/Script Format, Season/Series 11
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:48:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28142622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kosy/pseuds/kosy
Summary: JAYLEN: —So then I had to be like “no, Kichiro, I’m not going out for a drink with you and myextonight, I’ve got a flight to Baltimore in three hours and I’m not gonna miss out on seeing my wife for the first time in weeks to drink shitty beer and—”SUTTON: Hold on,what?
Relationships: Jaylen Hotdogfingers/Sutton Dreamy
Comments: 6
Kudos: 20





	nomenclature

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone! this started out as a bit in my dms, but then i got overinvested in the idea as i so often do and now this exists. self-care is [checks notes] writing lesbians arguing, but in a sappy way
> 
> content notes: swearing, references to drinking, the d slur (used once in a reclaimed sense). the whole thing's very lighthearted though :)
> 
> thanks so much for reading, i hope you all enjoy!

**ACT 11, SCENE ???**

_SETTING: The apartment in Baltimore, sometime after sundown._

_AT RISE: The living room as we’ve seen it countless times before. Worn leather sofa center stage, end tables on either side, simple furnishings—but, as with each previous scene set here, it has begun to look a little more lived-in than it was last time we saw it. Pictures on the walls, houseplants, knickknacks on the shelves, et cetera. JAYLEN and SUTTON are on the couch, a nearly-empty bottle of red wine and two glasses on the stage right end table. Both are tipsy, and though they sit at opposite ends of the sofa, their legs are comfortably tangled up together as they talk._

JAYLEN: —So then I had to be like “no, Kichiro, I’m not going out for a drink with you and my fuckin’ _ex_ tonight, I’ve got a flight to Baltimore in three hours and I’m not gonna miss out on seeing my wife for the first time in weeks to drink shitty beer and—”

SUTTON: Hold on, _what?_

JAYLEN: I know, right? Like, I don’t have beef with Allison anymore, we’re over that so it’s not like that was my problem. Well. We’re mostly over that. It’s kind of—

SUTTON: Not that, I don’t care about your decade-old dyke drama—

JAYLEN: Ouch. 

SUTTON: —I’m talking about the “wife” thing.

JAYLEN _(legitimate confusion)_ : The…? 

SUTTON: Oh my God, don’t act like it just _slipped out_ or whatever—

JAYLEN: I don’t know what y—oh. Uh—

SUTTON: Your _wife?_

JAYLEN: I mean, I was talking about you. Obviously. I don’t have another one lying around in Baltimore. Or elsewhere. 

SUTTON: Yeah, you’d fucking _better_ not. _(JAYLEN snickers. SUTTON rolls her eyes.)_

Look, you’re dodging the question. _Wife?_ Did we get Vlegas married or something without me noticing?

JAYLEN: No, I— _(A frustrated sigh.)_ Look, it’s just a thing I say. 

SUTTON _(incredulous)_ : Since when? 

JAYLEN: Since—I dunno, since I got transferred over to the Lovers, I guess? I got into the habit of calling you—you know, that—whenever I talked about you. It’s not, like, a _thing._ We don’t have to make it a thing. 

SUTTON: Jay, you’ve apparently been calling me your wife to your teammates for the last few months, I definitely think it’s a _thing._ I mean, we agreed marriage was off the table back in—what, season seven? 

JAYLEN: Yeah, something like that. And I didn’t forget that, it was a mutual choice, I just… 

_(SUTTON waits for JAYLEN to finish the thought. She doesn’t. Her eyes are fixed on her hands.)_

SUTTON _(hesitantly)_ : I mean, it’s—it’s fine, I’m not… mad or anything. I just don’t… get it. 

JAYLEN: There’s not a lot to get. Like I said, I just kind of got into the habit of saying it. I mean, seriously, “girlfriend” feels like a very high school term for the woman I’ve been with for over a decade; “partner” is fine but it just feels—I dunno what it feels like but it’s not really right either; and I am absolutely not calling you my lover. You _are_ my lover, I guess, but I feel like _such_ a pretentious jackass when I say that so it’s—

SUTTON: So you landed on “wife”? 

JAYLEN: Sure. You don’t have to be married to be married. 

SUTTON: Babe, with all the love in the world, sometimes talking to you is a fucking nightmare. 

JAYLEN: Look, I’ll stop calling you that if you want me to. Of course. I’m not gonna be offended or hurt or whatever. 

SUTTON: No, it’s—I don’t mind it. 

JAYLEN: Yeah? 

SUTTON _(failing to hold back a grin)_ : Yeah. 

JAYLEN _(also grinning)_ : Good. 

_(They sit there in the quiet for thirty seconds or so, both still smiling to themselves. We can hear the muffled sounds of the city outside. Then:)_

SUTTON: If you don’t mind me asking—

JAYLEN: Yeah?

SUTTON: —How long have we been not-married married for? 

JAYLEN _(immediately)_ : A year and three months. 

SUTTON: That was… precise. And fast.

JAYLEN: I mean, I—okay, honestly, I thought you already knew. 

SUTTON: What, that we’re apparently married? How the fuck was I supposed to have known if you didn’t _tell_ me? 

JAYLEN: Dream, babe, I gave you my grandfather’s wedding ring on a cord for our anniversary, it literally _does not_ get more explicit than that—

SUTTON _(a little too loud)_ : In theory, maybe! In practice, you gave me a five minute speech saying “hey, babe, I know this gift is _really_ gonna seem like a proposal considering it’s my grandfather’s _wedding ring_ that I’ve worn around my neck since I was literally _fifteen years old_ and it’s the most valuable thing he ever owned and the only family heirloom that I actually care about,but it’s _not a proposal_ because we said no marriage, so, like, _don’t worry!”_

JAYLEN: Well, yeah! I _wasn’t_ proposing! I was saying we were already married in all the ways that fucking _matter!_

_(Beat.)_

SUTTON: Jay. That’s incredibly sweet. But there are times when you have to say things aloud. 

JAYLEN: Sure, _now_ I know that. 

_(Beat.)_

SUTTON: _Do_ you want to get married for real?

JAYLEN: We’re already married for real. 

SUTTON: Jaylen, I swear to God— 

JAYLEN _(hurriedly)_ : No, I know, I know, I was fucking with you. I know what you’re asking. 

I don’t—is it weird if I say no? Like, we’re basically already married. Planning a wedding sounds like a nightmare, and I don’t need to merge our bank accounts or whatever to know that I’m going to stay with you for the rest of my life. If you let me. Or, I dunno, the rest of my lives. Depending on how many times I die before I’m out of here for good.

SUTTON: Okay. Well… good, then. You too. 

JAYLEN: The whole “til death do us part” thing didn’t really work for us anyway. Clearly. 

SUTTON: If you die a third time, I _am_ divorcing you. 

JAYLEN _(deadpan)_ : Oh no, what will the tabloids say? 

SUTTON: Same shit they’ve always said about us, probably. 

JAYLEN _(chuckling dryly)_ : Yeah. Probably.

_(Pause.)_

So, seriously, you’re okay with me calling you my wife? 

SUTTON: Yeah, it’s—it fits better. It’s how I think of you anyway. 

_(SUTTON has been wearing the ring on its cord since the beginning of this act, but now she’s idly turning it over in her fingers, not quite fidgeting, just feeling its shape. JAYLEN watches, smiling a little.)_

Should I get you a ring too? 

JAYLEN: Only if you want to. 

SUTTON: Mm. I’ll think about it. 

_(Another comfortable silence. JAYLEN reaches for the bottle of wine, changes her mind halfway through the action, and instead settles her hand on top of SUTTON’s. SUTTON looks up, meets her eyes, and smiles.)_

_(Blackout.)_

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this self-indulgent sappiness! if you'd like to find me on tumblr where i never shut up about these two, i'm @fourteenthidol, and if you want to leave a comment it'd make my day. thanks again!! <3


End file.
